Every mother on the planet parents differently.
It’s a fact.
(No, I don’t have a link to the research ‘cuz there isn’t any… but I dare you to try to prove otherwise.)
There are absolutely mothers that parent very similarly to each other… but not exactly the same.
My mother and I parent VERY differently.
My mother’s way of parenting has changed over the course of her parenthood, just like every other mothers has. And just like every mom, sometimes her ways of parenting were better than others.
For the longest time I vowed to become basically the EXACT opposite of my mother.
Part of me would love to go into detail of all the ways and reasons I wanted to be different… to do differently… but that’s for another days therapy session. But recently I realized something that is SO much more important.
I owe it to MY children to be THEIR mother. That’s it.
I realized that the most important thing I needed to do every day for the rest of my life was to be the best mom I can be to MY boys. Comparing myself to anyone, especially my own mom, wasn’t necessary.
I am in no way a perfect mother. Ask my 13 year old after I’ve demanded he get a haircut to get his shaggy hair out of his eyes. Or ask my 3 year old after I insist he eat more than just tator tots for dinner.
But I make it a point to be a GOOD mom in my own way. To take their thoughts/opinions/ feelings/ needs/etc. into consideration at all times. I understand that I also need to parent each of my boys differently.
There are a thousand resources online to get parenting advice. Experts that have studied the subject for decades and actual mothers who write blogs… and share their thoughts and experiences with the masses in hopes of shedding some light on the chaos that is motherhood.
Every mother also has other mothers in her life… possibly her own mother, grandmother, friends, neighbors… other women who are ready and willing to let you know when you should discipline more, spoil them less, feed them more vegis, limit the sugar.. and blah blah blah.
While there are times that this advice and wisdom from experience can be invaluable… for me, I’ve learned to go with my gut. No one in the world.. the universe.. will ever love MY kids the way I do. And with that fact in mind I need to trust myself and my passion for my boys. I need to be THEIR mom.
**My mother has taught me so much about life.. about being a mom (in good ways, and not so good ways). She raised two amazingly crazy little girls (on her own) into fantasticly impressive women who are now parenting little boys into what we can only hope will be incredible men. Thanks Mom.